Guest Post:: A Time to Mourn

This is a true story.  I was there when it happened--just across the aisle from my friend, Linda Jeffrey.  It brought me to tears then, and it still does today.  This story demonstrates such a lovely and profound expression of God's love for the grieving, that I asked my friend Linda to share it with you, in her own words.  Thank you, Linda...As a fellow grief-stricken sister, I can personally attest to the hope that follows when God speaks so clearly to the brokenhearted.  ~Sandy~

If you would like to submit a guest post to God Speaks Today, click here for submission guidelines.

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And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it. 

 Isaiah 30:21

January 16th is a somber day for me and my family, as we remember and celebrate a precious husband and father, and we mourn his absence. You all would have loved John Jeffrey had you known him. He was a bubbly joyful loud worshiper, who loved to play the guitar and sing praise music to the Savior he loves. Last year, my girls had bought roses to take to the cemetery, but I had coped by focusing on every day routine, and ignoring the emptiness I felt that Sunday morning. I hadn’t told anyone at my church about the significance of this day, or about my unusual story.

I was widowed for the third time before my fiftieth birthday.

It was communion Sunday, which was inconvenient, because you can’t be a pretender and take communion. So after receiving the broken body and blood of our Savior, I knelt at the front for some moments of private confession. There were no spoken words, and no tears. I just needed to be honest before God.

“I am a miserable saint. Forgive me Lord—I can hardly express my gratitude for your agony and death. I am focused on myself, and I am so sorry. I do thank you for your great gift to me. But I must tell you, Jesus, I am overcome in my loneliness. My children are grown, and finding a life of their own, and I feel very old, preparing for a stoic march into deteriorating health, becoming a nuisance to my family, and waiting for death in your timing to come home. I am so dull of hearing, God. If only you could speak to me! I know it’s going to get better, and I do trust You. You’ve got to help me out of this black hole.”

I returned to my seat and bowed my head while others received communion. Pastor Carroll returned to the platform to resume the service, but he paused. “I believe I have a word from the Lord,” he said, “for the young [yes he used the word young] lady in blue who was kneeling here during communion, but I don’t see her.”

I felt the power of the Holy Spirit surge in my body as I was lifted to my feet. “Yes, it’s you, Linda.” He said. “I believe the Lord is saying to you that your best days are ahead of you. The enemy has come against you to defeat you, but the Lord is saying to you that your future is bright.” Pastor Carroll repeated, “Your best days are ahead, so look up and look to what God has for you.”

I raised my hand, speechless in the presence of almighty God. He had answered my prayer and spoken to me audibly, and my emptiness was suddenly flooded with His compassion and mercy. Would He single me out for such a lavish expression of His love? Yes, He would! It was unmistakable. My small-group family rushed me with a hug, as they sensed the miracle of that moment, too.

That divine encounter was a little over one year ago. God opened my eyes to see that I was believing a lie from the enemy, and letting fear cloud my vision of the pure goodness of God and His plans for me, my children, and my grandchildren.

I began to pray about this future God spoke to Pastor Carroll about, and His calling and direction became clear. When you don’t think you have a future, you don’t seek God for one.

I gathered together a decade of writing on grief, and by June 1st, I had written a workbook for small groups called “The Grief Experience: Receiving God’s Healing beyond Grief and Loss.” I taught the class in the fall at our church, and began a blog to retell my story and reach people who are mourning without hope.

In December, I submitted a second book for publication called “Comfort and Joy,” a collection of essays on what God has done for me through mourning. From that awful black hole just a year ago when I knelt before the Savior in complete despair, I faced the following anniversary in faith with the prayer of David, “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness!" (Psalm 30:11).

The road through grief is rocky and exhausting. If you are walking there, join me at my blog, The Grief Experience.

~Linda Jeffrey~

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This is Sandy again...please, everyone, go flood Linda with support at her blog.  I am closing my comments today so you can go lavish some love on her there.  

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Fitness Friday::5 Minute No-Bake Peanut Butter Power Balls

For a very lame brief P90X2 Update, Scroll to the end

If you are looking for a quick, healthy, delicious family-friendly snack that feels like a treat, you have got to try these. They are sweet and rich, like a dessert; yet hearty and nutritious like a snack. Because of the combination of simple sugars, fiber, protein and fat, I like to pop one in my mouth just before a strenuous workout. Just enough to sustain me, but not so much to make me barf.

Plus, they have peanut butter--which we all know is the perfect food.



5 Minute No-Bake Peanut Butter Power Balls


Ingredients:

*1 cup peanut butter (I recommend unsweetened, natural peanut butter. But if you use sweetened, just realize they will be very sweet--which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just a taste preference. You could also substitute almond butter here, which I haven't tried, but I'm thinking would be total yum.)

*1 cup honey (raw, local if you have it)

*3 cups rolled oats

*1 cup nuts, dried fruit or chocolate chips (or a combination of the three! I've tried all different combos, and each one was delish.  Add what you like here!)

Crushed nuts, granola cereal, unsweetened coconut or puffed rice cereal

(the combo in the picture is chopped almonds, dried cranberries and chocolate chips, rolled in rice cereal)

Instructions

1. Mix the first four ingredients together until well-blended and forms a thick, sticky dough. (Using a stand mixer works best.  Otherwise, you will have to get in there with your hands).

2. Form dough into balls. Golf ball sized is nice.

3. Roll balls into crushed nuts, granola, coconut or puffed rice.

You can serve immediately, but I think the texture is so much better after they have been refrigerated for at least an hour. Makes 10-20 balls, depending on the size.

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P90X2, Week 8 Update

Let's see, how do I sum this up?  Last week was just crappy. I had some personal issues with a family member that sucked the life out of me. I caught a cold. And--(ESTROGEN WARNING!  SHIELD YOUR EYES IF YOU'RE A DUDE)--had a certain monthly female situation that made me crampy, tired and irritable. And it all happened at the exact same time.

Yuck.

Suffice it to say, I took a recovery week--in every sense of the word. Basically, I did some walk/jogging (it was so nice outside). Some yoga. Some resting. Lots of praying. Some more resting....

I didn't weigh or measure this week, because I kind of don't care, (I mean, I do, but not as much as I care about other stuff).  Yesterday, I did slip into a pair of skinny jeans which haven't graced my lower half since 2009. That's enough to make me wanna dance a little jig. Which I'll count as an additional cardio workout.

I will probably hit a hard workout tomorrow, because I miss it and I'm getting a little antsy.  That exactly what's supposed to happen at the end of a recovery period.  That's how you know it's time to get moving again.

Monday, I will begin P90X2, Phase 3, which will take me through the end of March and the end of the 90 days. I can't wait for Phase 3. I am ready. I've heard that it's fun and hard and kicks your booty.  I'll tell you all about it next time.

Q4U: How is your workout routine going?

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Linking up with Jill Conyers and her fabulous Fitness Friday Blog Hop

And The Senseless Video Wins!

Major life issues completely engulfed me last week, leaving nary a single moment to write. I vacillated this morning between writing a short-not-so-great post, just to let you know I love you and I care about my blog readers enough to post something this week

or posting this short, senseless YouTube video.

Without further adieu...



(This post contains a video. If you are receiving this post by e-mail, you will need to click through to the actual blog to watch it.)

(Also, if you are receiving this by e-mail, chances are you received my Fitness Friday post by e-mail, also. Which, it turns out, had entire sentences missing in the middle of it, rendering it senseless, as well. Contrary to what appears to be true, I DO proofread my posts before, during and AFTER I post them. Apparently, in the spell check process, sentences mysteriously disappeared. I am sorry for this. I didn't catch it until Sunday morning. It's all corrected now.)

(Finally, if you ever see sentences which appear senseless in the middle of my posts, you can e-mail me and say, "Dude. What's with the senseless paragraph?" This would be both helpful and embarrassing to me)

Fitness Friday::Tips for the Cooking Novice

When I was little, I remember my mom cooking a lot. She canned her own tomatoes and peaches, from our backyard garden. She and Dad crocked pickles with homegrown cucumber and dill. I remember her grinding her own meat by hand in this meat-grinder thing, for spaghetti sauce and meat loaf (which may explain my meat aversion). She simmered giant pots of homemade soups and stocks. She even made her own noodles!

But as I got older, so did Mom. The 1970’s and 1980’s brought the onslaught of processed and convenience foods, which were a dream-come-true for tired Mommas everywhere—and my tired (and often sick) Momma took full advantage of meals in a box. She began to simplify dinners for her growing teens and college students—who were often going in 7 different directions. She eventually passed the baton to daughters and daughters-in-law for all-things-holiday. She gave up cooking entirely by the time I graduated from high school.

When I got married at the age of 25, my cooking skills amounted basically to being able to follow the directions on the back of a Rice-a-Roni package. And I could make a mean toaster waffle.

I remember Newlywed Sandy complaining to her best friend Lisa (who was and still is—along with her husband—an outstanding cook) that I had no idea how to prepare dinner for my new husband (aside from Rice-a-Roni and toaster waffles). Her advice was simple: “Just follow recipes!”

That was over 18 years ago, and the beginning of my cooking journey. Read: a lot of trial and error. And error. And error. Think dried out meat, bland soups, soggy crusts and overly cooked veggies.

Sorry, Jon.

If that’s you—if you WANT to know how to cook, but you aren’t quite sure where to start, let me offer you a few tips that worked, and still work, for me.

1. Follow Recipes: This is the best advice I could have received. I think this is the only way to learn how to combine and prepare ingredients so they taste good. If you are a beginner, resist the urge to modify the recipe the first time you make it. (I still make almost all recipes the first time exactly as written—but I’m slightly OCD that way.) From there, you can jot down notes and make adjustments for next time. Where are some good places to find recipes?

a. Cookbooks: (I know, Captain Obvious here.  Sorry if this post is too deep for you to keep up.)  If you are just starting out, you will benefit greatly from cookbooks with many pictures—especially pictures that show you how the dish should look at different stages of preparation. Even in this age of technology, I still love me a good cookbook. I probably have 20 cookbooks that I use often.

b. Internet: Of course, 18 years ago, we didn’t even own a computer, so cooking websites were not an option. But now, you don’t have to spend a dime on a cookbook if you don’t want to. There are millions (!) of great websites full of delicious recipes. You can also watch video demos on YouTube—which is so cool, if you need to learn technique. My favorite recipe site is All-Recipes—I always start there. Namely because of the sheer volume of recipes in one place AND the reviews (which I always browse) from people who have actually made the recipe before me.

c. Food Network: If any one thing has revolutionized cooking in a positive way in my lifetime, it’s the Food Network. It is truly one of the best ideas ever, right there next to coffee makers with timers and TIVO and spandex in jeans. If you are a novice, watch shows like 30-Minute Meals and Everyday Italian. These ladies make normal, easy-to-prepare, family-friendly food. And you can watch the process and technique, which I think is vital in learning to love the art of cooking.

d. Friends: Some of my best recipes, I’ve gotten from friends after they’ve made them for me. Don’t be shy if about asking. Most good cooks love sharing their recipes.

e. The Back of Packages of Products You Use:  Did you know product companies only put the absolute best recipes on their packages--the ones that will best highlight the flavor of the product, so people will purchase and enjoy the product? Makes sense, doesn't it?  For an outstanding oatmeal cookie recipe, look no further than the flip side of the Quaker Oats lid.  White chicken chili is as close as the back of the Bush's Navy Bean label.  And, hello?  Can you say Nestle Toll House Cookies? Look on your pasta box, rice bag, chicken breast wrapping...chances are, there are some outstanding recipes hiding back there.

2. Take Notes: I write on every recipe I make. If my family hated it, I don’t want to accidentally make it again. If my family loved it, I want to make sure I stick that one in the meal rotation. Sometimes, I liked a recipe a lot, but I needed to do some tweaking to make it work for my family—I write all of that down, right there next to the recipe.

3. Tab Your Favorites: Any post-it note will do. This is self-explanatory, is it not?

4. Organize the Recipes you Want to Try or Make Again: I am sure there are all sorts of creative and fancy ways to organize recipes. I’m fairly archaic. I prefer paper over these new-fangled things called computers. And my creativity is pretty much limited to stringing words together, not making pretty recipe holders. Therefore, if I'm not using a cookbook, I like to print out my recipes and keep them in one of these-here-fancy-schmancy accordian folders.  I am sure there are nifty ways to organize them electronically on my new-fangled computer.  But that’s too techie for me.

5. Keep a Running List of Meals that Worked Well: Sometimes, you’ll sit down to do your meal plan, and your mind will go blank. That’s when you can pull out your handy-dandy Meal Idea List. I write down almost every meal that my family likes a lot. Sometimes, I even jot down what side dishes go especially well with a main dish. I forget those things, don’t you? You don’t? Never mind, then. Moving on….

6. Create Your Own Dishes: Yes, believe it or not, you will make it to this point some day.  It won’t be long, and you will start getting a good feel for what flavors work well together--which ones your family says, “Wow! What did you put in this?” (in a good way) When that happens, you may be tempted to try to create something without Rachel Ray’s assistance. I say, go for it! What’s the worst thing that can happen? It’s terrible and you throw it out, that's what. Who cares? That’s why God created take-out. But maybe, you will stumble upon something delicious! If you do, be sure to write it down, and put it in your fancy-schmancy accordion folder. You’ll think you’ll remember it…but you won’t. Well, I won’t. Maybe you will. Write it down anyway. Trust me on this.

Now that I have a few years of cooking under my belt (ha! Get it? Under my belt? I didn’t even say that one on purpose, but it was funny!) I feel extremely confident in the kitchen. Confident enough to try to recreate some of Mom’s old recipes. Confident enough to create new recipes of my own. And confident enough to pass this cooking tradition on to my own children—and to you, via the new-fangled Internet.

My prayer for you today is that you don’t have to rely on Rice-a-Roni as your go-to side dish, neither today, nor for all eternity. That you would feel bold and fearless as you try your hand at cooking. And that God would kindly deactivate your spouse’s taste buds as you experiment in the kitchen. Amen.

Q4U: What tips would you give someone just starting out? If you ARE just starting out, what scares you the most about cooking?

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P90X2 Update, Week 7
Day 47
I'm over half-way there!

Total Weight Lost: 8.8 since Jan 2, 15.6 since last year!

Total Body Fat Lost:: 2.9% 

Total Inches Lost:  7.5

This week was a challenge on every level. Which is why I'm surprised shocked to see I lost more weight and inches.  I actually ordered dessert last Friday night (I said I wasn’t doing that until I was done with P90X2, but it was a macadamia-nut-brownie thingie topped with vanilla ice cream and real whipped cream!). Anyway, it was huge. Like for-3-people huge.  My husband wanted the key lime pie and absolutely refused to help a girl out, so I ate the entire thing. I could have pushed it away after the first third, or the second third...but I didn't.  I consumed all of it. All three thirds.

Not beating myself up. Just keepin' it real.  Because, dude, that dessert was delicious.  But, just remember, there's always a price to pay for too much delicious.  I think that's in the book of Ecclesiastes.

In addition to that, I did extra snacking and indulging here and there the entire week, had a few unexpected nights where we had to buy dinner on the go and eat much too late.   A lot of "life" happened in my home this week (stressful, yucky life) which meant my workouts were compromised also.

This is when it starts to unravel for some people.  They eat too much.  Or too much of the wrong thing.  They miss a workout or two.  They get busy.  And stressed.  Then discouraged.  Then they fold.

Don't do it.

Over the course of months, a few days is just a blip in the radar.  It won't matter as much as it seems it does right now.  Just keep showing up and doing your best.  Cook yourself something healthy and light from one of your new cookbooks.  Go put on some workout clothes and sweat.  That's what I intend to do.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

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Linking up with my friend Jill Conyers!  Go check out her Fitness Friday Blog Hop!

For When You Are Tempted to Believe the Lies

Jesus has been made unto you wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption.

(I Cor 1:30)

God has given you the spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind.

(2 Tim 1:7)

You have the mind of Christ, and you hold the thoughts, feelings and purposes of His heart.

(I Cor 2:16)

God is on your side.

(Rom 8:31)

You are God’s own handiwork—his workmanship—recreated in Christ Jesus that you may do those good works which God predestined for you. You are taking paths that He prepared for you to take ahead of time, that you should walk in them, living the good life, which He prearranged and made ready for you to live.

(Eph 2:10)

God does not require you to act on your own strength. He is all the while effectually at work in you, energizing and creating in you the power and the desire, both to will and to work for His good pleasure, satisfaction and delight.

(Phil 2:13)

Jesus is the Leader, the Source and the Finisher of your faith.

(Heb 12:2)

God’s love has been poured into your heart.

(Rom 5:5)

You dwell and continue to dwell in God’s love, and therefore, God continues to dwell in you.

(I John 4:16)

God has given you a secret place to abide and hide. It is under the safety of the shadow of His wings. No enemy can touch you there.

(Ps 91:1)

God’s angels protect you and preserve all your ways. In fact, He has given you power and authority to trample the very enemies that pursue you.

(Ps 91:13)

God has rescued and delivered you from this present and evil world.

(Gal 1:4)

You are born of God, and whoever is born of God is victorious over this evil world.

(I Jn 5: 4-5)

God hears your cry for help. His lovingkindness causes you to know the way you should walk, leads you to level ground and delivers you from all your distress and all your enemies—even the enemies who afflict your inner self.

(Ps 143)

When you roll your works upon the Lord—when you commit and trust them wholly to Him—He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will. And then, your plans will be established and succeed.

(Prov 16:3)

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Linking up with my precious friend Jen, who helps me know the truth and reject the lies.

Fitness Friday: Southwest Turkey Burgers

For P90X2 Week 6 Update, Scroll to the end!

I promised last week that I’d share some recipes with you. And I like to keep my blogging promises. So, here’s one of my favorites!

Since the beginning of January, I’ve been making one or two recipes a week from the P90X2 Nutrition Guide. These Southwest Turkey Burgers are one of my favorites, and the only one I've made twice (so far). They are so quick and yummy…even my kids love them.

(And by “kids” I mean 2 of the 3. It’s a rare day when every kid loves the meal. But I’m cool with that. You can't please all the people all the time, right?  Sometimes, it's more a reflection of their feelings for their mother at the moment, and less about the burger.)

Serve these up with a platter of fresh veggies and dip. For the children you can add a side of homemade French fries or a fruit smoothie! Or BOTH!!

(and by "children" I mean "your offspring and your husband who are not trying to lose weight.")

Southwest Turkey (or Chicken) Burgers

Ingredients: 

10 oz ground turkey breast (I used ground chicken, because I cannot, for the life of me, find organic, free range ground turkey! What’s up with that?? I may have to join some kind of farm co-op, just for the turkey.)

½ cup salsa, with corn and beans added. (I used jarred, all natural, medium heat)

½ tsp garlic powder

¼ cup seasoned breadcrumbs

4 toasted whole-grain hamburger buns

4 thick slices tomato

4 large romaine lettuce leaves

4 slices red onion

4 thin slices cheddar cheese (I used raw cheddar and sliced it myself)

Directions:

1. Combine turkey (or chicken), salsa, garlic powder and breadcrumbs in a bowl.

2. Form into 4 patties and grill or broil until cooked through. (The first time, I broiled and they came out beautifully. The second time I started on the grill and finished in a 400-degree oven until the rest of dinner was done—also beautiful.  You can make these ahead of time, store in fridge, and cook later.)

3. Serve burgers on buns topped with lettuce, tomato, onion and cheese (For my kids, I omitted to tomato and onion cuz they think that’s just gross. And you do NOT need a condiment on these! They are so tasty and moist. Trust me.)

Serves 4

Calories: 357
Fat: 12g
Saturated fat: 5g
Carbohydrate: 32g
Protein: 30g
Fiber: 3.5g
Sodium: 433 mg
Cholesterol: 56 mg

Let me know if you make these and how you like them!

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P90X2 Update—Week 6

Total Weight Lost Since Jan 2nd: 7.8 pounds  (14.4 from my highest weight last year)

Total Body Fat Lost: 2.6%

(I did not measure this week)

Do you see those clothes right there?

Do you want to know that they are?

I went shopping.

I know of this great place called Sandy’s Storage Room—a lovely boutique conveniently located in my basement.  There, you will find 2 giant bins of clothes I packed away last winter, to end a crying epidemic that occurred every time I got dressed and realized I was unable to pull yet ANOTHER item of clothing over my thighs--or arms--or stomach--depending on the item.

(18 pounds will do that to you.)

(23 pounds will REALLY do that to you.)

(Thank you to all my real life friends and husband who pretended that you didn't notice and told me I was beautiful anyway.)

(I didn't feel beautiful.)

(Yes, I know I'm beautiful on the inside.)

(But still.)

If you started a fitness program as a New Year's Resolution, right about now is when you should start seeing some serious results.

Unless, of course, you are me.  Then you should see some serious results in February of the year 2014.  But hang in there.  It'll be here before you know it.

(Last Sunday, my first real-life friend noticed that I am losing weight.)

(She commented on the size of my shrinking butt. Which is awesome and embarrassing.)

(But mostly awesome.)


These are some of the clothes that I love and prayed that I’d someday be able to wear again. You can't tell from the picture, but some of them still have tags.  I literally, bought them, gained a bunch of weight on Lexapro, and then couldn't wear them.  All in like 8 weeks.

I actually had another 2 bins of clothes that didn't fit that I donated to Goodwill.  Obviously, I didn't love them as much as I loved these.  But I still cried when I couldn't fit into them.  My entire closet, ya'll.

I can now fit into these clothes.

I can hardly believe it.

I am happy.

I have written a lot of short, choppy sentences in this post.

Sorry.

That is all.

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Linking up with Jill and a bunch of other fitness-minded bloggers at Fitness Friday.

Intentional Mothering::3 Things I'm Working On Right Now

"Being intentional as a mother involves a constant call to action. It’s not enough to want your children to encompass godly virtue and values; you must be willing to model, teach, lead, and nurture them in the daily experiences called life."

~Catherine Hickem~

1. Organizing a workable chore chart and allowance system. We’ve had multiple versions of chore charts and allowance systems over the years. Everything from, “You will receive a flat fee, according to your age, not because you complete a task, but because you are a productive member of the Cooper family” to “Twenty Five Cents per chore, per kid, period.” to “I scribbled a list and it’s sitting on the counter. Do everything on it and come see me when you are finished.” to “It’s been four months since I paid you anything because, as it turns out, I’m quite the slacker-mom, so to appease my guilt, you may pick out whatever you want from Toys R Us and we’ll call it even.”

My kids are now all old enough to do regular chores, and do them well. Even the 5 year old. In fact, they do regular chores every day (make beds, feed pets, set and clear the dinner table, straighten rooms), but I rarely keep track or pay them an allowance. I want to improve in this area for two reasons:

a. It’s important to me that my children know how to handle money well: to give generously, to save diligently and to spend wisely. It’s impossible to teach them to handle money, if they never have money to handle. Duh.

b. Many times when we are out shopping, they will ask for something that I do not want to buy for them. They are quick to respond, “Please Mom, I will use my own money!” To which I respond, "You have no money." To which they respond, "I would if you would pay me an allowance."


True dat.

My parents were excellent at teaching money management. I grew up in a debt-free household, and it wasn’t because we were wealthy. My dad worked at a factory (sometimes working over-time AND working two additional jobs) and my mom stayed at home to raise seven children. Plus, they sent us all to Catholic schools. And paid for our college (without school loans!) for those of us who wanted to attend.

Thanks to them, I entered adulthood confidently understanding the value of money and the dangers of credit. I want to pass this heritage on to my children. It’s one of those things I’ve been meaning to do for years, but am just now getting my act together to implement it.

I’ve got a brand new chore/allowance system that I introduced yesterday. It’s not complicated—which is my tendency—to overcomplicate and then toss the plan because no one wants to maintain it. I don’t want to speak too soon, though. I’ll give it a few weeks to work out the bugs. If it works, I’ll share the details in a future post.

2. Having one Electronics-Free Day per week. Last week, I was having lunch with a friend, and she said when she was growing up, she was only allowed to watch TV on the weekends. That night, I mentioned this to my children, and they hissed at me. Literally—like a scary stray cat, they made a hissing sound.

It's no secret around here, I am not a fan of electronics of any kind. Evidenced by the fact that electronics are the first thing to go when I’m punishing a child for bad behavior. I harp constantly about the distraction and brain-wasting that occurs when a child is glued to a screen as opposed to running, creating or imagining something. I would love to throw every one of them out the window (the electronics, not the children) and live like the Ingles family, all prairie-like. But that is unrealistic—electronics are here to stay and serve a great purpose, when used in moderation.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t do a better of job of managing them in my home.

So, last night at dinner, I made the following announcement: "Hear Ye, Hear Ye! From henceforth, one day per week will be Electronics-Free."

And then I braced myself for the hissing.

To my shock and amazement, they shrugged their shoulders and said, “Sure, okay.”

I let them vote on the day, and they chose Sunday. But with one stipulation: That we make Sunday a true Family Day and do things like go to the park, the zoo, go bowling or roller skating. I wasn’t expecting that request, but I like it. A lot.

Jon and I will have to do a little schedule-switching on our part (he usually takes the kids to the YMCA while I write), but I love the idea of having one day a week, reserved just for quality family time. Writing can wait.

3. Reading to Elliana every day. *GASP!!!* What???? You don’t read to your daughter every single day? Isn’t that taught in Parenting 101, you novice????  What the heck is WRONG with you???

Well, I USED to read to my kids, how’s that?

Allow me to describe my gradual digression into the dark abyss of the Non-Reading Parent:

To Noah (Circa 1997), I read the Bible…chapters and chapters of the inspired Word of God, as I rocked him gently on my lap. That child heard more scripture in his 9 short months of life than I heard in the first 18 years of mine. No lie.

To Rebekah (Circa 1999), I read some Bible, but tons of books—books, books, books, every day and every night. That child knew entire books by heart before she was old enough to read. She still loves books to this day, and usually has 2 or 3 going at the same time—just like her Momma.

To Elijah (Circa 2001), I read some books, but MAN, life got so busy with a baby and a toddler. Before long, I was placing my sweet boy in front of Thomas the Tank Engine DVDs more often than I care to remember. I told myself George Carlin, Ringo Starr and Alec Baldwin were worthy reading substitutes—shoot, they were narrating our books verbatim. That’s almost like reading, right?

To Elliana (Circa, Holy Moses, what year is it anyway?), I’ve handed books to keep her occupied while I try to run my household.

It’s so hard with the last kid to keep up on all those things—I’m not beating myself up, because it really is difficult. Plus, I realize the baby of the family benefits in other ways that the oldest does not (I’m the baby, so I know). But reading one-on-one with my sweet girl is just one of those things I don’t want neglect. Not only is it very important for her brain development, but it’s also precious to me. The season of nighttime snuggling with a freshly-bathed, pajama-clad preschooler is coming to a close for me. I want to embrace every second of it before it’s over.


Q4U: What are you doing to improve as a parent?

Fitness Friday: My Philosophy on Philosophies and Cooking

(Scroll to the end for P90X2, Week 5 Update!)

If you only know me from my blog, and not in real life, chances are pretty good you think I’m nothing but a hot mess. (Oh, who am I kidding? You probably think that if you know me in real life, too.)

In a virtual world where I have the power to create and present a flawless image of myself, I tend to do the opposite. I throw myself under the bus a lot—I expose my flaws and reveal my struggles for the sake of flawed and struggling women everywhere.

You’re welcome.

I, for one, can’t relate to women who project an image of perfection. I’ve lived long enough to avoid the allure of the Comparison Trap. I have no desire to perpetuate the myth of the Flawless Woman anywhere on my blog. Therefore, I have no problem with showing you the scary,imperfect parts of my being—which are many. I think vulnerability in me produces freedom in you.

So, at the risk of sounding boastful or prideful or appearing “perfect,” it is with great reservation that I make the following confession: There are three areas of life where I have achieved order and tend to maintain order—even when the rest of my world is falling apart.

1. Daily communion with God (prayer and Bible reading)


2. Healthy cooking and eating for my family of five


3. Regular exercise

Honestly, if I have those three areas under control, it is well, it is well with my soul. I can handle pretty much anything else that comes my way if I am healthy and strong—first spiritually, then physically.

(You realize, don’t you, that just as soon as I hit “publish” on this post, I am going to fail miserably at one of these areas? That’s the way it works, y'all. All the more reason I make this confession with great reservation.)

I think the main reason I have been able to maintain order spiritually and physically is because these areas are where I place my highest priority. It doesn’t make you wrong or bad if you don’t place your priorities here. You probably have prettier flowerbeds, cleaner and more beautifully decorated homes and more active social calendars than I do, all because you prioritize differently.

By prioritize, I mean, that we not only regard these things as most important, but we also give them the very best part of our day, usually before or instead of most other things. We devote a lot of time here.  If we have a free moment, we tend to gravitate here.  We may not even do it consciously—but with every little decision throughout every day, we prioritize.

I am intentional about my priorities. I plan how I will incorporate them into my day. As seasons and circumstances change (pregnancies, new babies, illnesses, job changes, relocations, school and activity schedules), I think, “When will I pray? When will I exercise? What will I eat/feed the family?”

Yes, I actually consciously think that. And I keep trying and tweaking, until I find a way to fit it all back in.

That’s the main reason transitions are such a challenge for me. It takes me a while to get my groove back. But once I do, I’m good.

Behind every priority is an underlying philosophy where the priority originated. We all have underlying philosophies, whether we realize it or not. I happen to have firm, underlying philosophies about most things, but primarily about my responsibilities as a Christian wife and mother.

These philosophies steer me toward my priorities when life gets full and I’m tempted to neglect them or forsake them. These philosophies help me sort through the hundreds of things pulling for my time and attention every single day. These philosophies help me see the big picture.

So, today, I wanted to share with you a bit about the philosophies behind Priority Number 2: Healthy Cooking and Eating for My Family of Five

In my home, I am the one responsible for all-things-food. I decide what my family will eat, every single day. I plan all the meals. I grocery shop. I organize the food once it is in our home. And then, I prepare and serve the food.

I love this part of my job.

I sincerely consider it an honor to nourish my family physically. I’m so thankful my husband entrusts this area to me, solely. So, the primary component of my cooking philosophy is that I see it as a privilege, as opposed to a duty or a drudgery.

When it comes to my kids and food, I try to proceed with the end in mind—I try to envision my children grown and gone. What do I want to pack into their bags before they leave our nest?

Of course, I want them to be healthy, first and foremost. But I also want my children to have a healthy relationship with food. I want them to view food, not only as necessary fuel for their bodies, but also as a gift from God. God could have chosen to nourish our bodies in any other boring or scientific way; but, instead, He chose to bless us with colorful, fragrant, and delicious food. What a gift!

And like any gift from God, people often abuse, misuse or misunderstand it. Satan can (and will!) destroy people using food. I know a lot people who struggle with food on some level. You probably do, too—those who see food as bondage, who eat too little or too much, who eat nothing but processed, packaged, sugar-laden junk, so that they wouldn’t know a fresh vegetable if it jumped up and bit them in the face (actually, if your vegetable is biting you, it’s probably not a vegetable, after all). I don’t want that for my kids. Not now. Not ever.

Therefore, I make it a high priority to train my children to make healthy choices for themselves. They need this information now, even as students. Because sometimes they stand in the school cafeteria line and need to make a choice. Sometimes they are eating at a friend’s home and need to make a choice. If I don’t educate them for these times, who will?

Someday, they will no longer come to me to ask what’s for dinner. They will do their own planning, shopping and cooking—probably for their own families. When that day comes, I want them to be fully equipped to make great choices.

What does that look like?

1. I talk a lot about what we are eating, what we are NOT eating, and why. That means, I flip over every package and read it out loud (many times with little eyes rolling behind my back as I read). I explain why it is acceptable or not acceptable for human consumption.

2. I cook at home most nights with fresh, natural ingredients, even though it would be way more convenient to run through a drive-thru or open up a can of something.

3. I often invite my kids into the kitchen to help me, even though it would be less stressful and much faster to do it myself.

4. I sometimes prepare food in the morning—especially for soup or a crock pot meal. But If I am cooking between the hours of 4 and 6 pm (when every kid on the planet is cranky), I make meal prep time as pleasant as possible. I usually turn on music and light a candle. I will sometimes pour myself a glass of wine or a cup of hot tea. (For me.  I meant I make it pleasant for ME.)

If the kids are not helping, they are often sitting around the counter doing homework or coloring or just talking to me about their day. Sometimes they are playing in another room or outside. But if they are near me in the kitchen, it's a very special time and I take full advantage of it.

With them nearby, I can teach them all kinds of things about food, and they don’t even realize it. As the aroma of dinner fills the house, I will stoke their anticipation with questions like, “Mmmmm…Do you smell that??? It’s basil, and it tastes soooo good in this sauce. Wow, look at how pretty this salad is with all the colors! What color is missing? What could we add? Do you know how to tell when this should come out of the oven? It will turn brown and the sides will bubble. Do you know why I added the egg to this? It helps hold it together…”


Just teaching...training...

Since my kids will have to eat several times a day for the rest of their lives (!), I want to instill in them a love for cooking and an appreciation for the process. You just can’t teach that in a fast-food drive-thru.

5. We eat together, sitting at the table without the distraction of electronics, almost every night. I know the day will come when this just won’t be possible…so I make it a priority today.

6. With three kids (middle school, elementary school and preschool) and a husband who works a full-time-plus job, I could not accomplish any of this if I did not plan ahead. Therefore, meal planning is high-priority to me. This isn’t a complicated process. It takes me maybe 5-10 minutes to plan my meals for the entire week, and another 5 minutes to make my grocery list from this meal plan.

Basically, I cook at home about four nights a week, depending on what is happening in our lives.

One of those four home-cooked meals usually involves chicken,

one involves pasta (easy with fresh salad and bread!)

and one involves soup (unless it's hot outside).

One night we do fish or maybe Mexican.

One night, we do pizza.

One night, we eat out.

One night, we eat left-overs.

I serve fresh fruits and veggies as sides, most nights. I make homemade bread once or twice a week (super easy with this recipe I recently discovered). Smoothies are this Momma’s best friend, especially on pizza night or when we are all headed back out the door for an activity.

7. I don’t fuss over breakfast and lunch, but instead keep my kitchen stocked with super-easy options like cereal, oatmeal, eggs, soups (homemade or canned) and turkey, cheese and bread for sandwiches—and of course, more fresh (and frozen!) fruit and veggies.

This isn’t all sunshine and roses. My children are just like yours—they would choose candy over carrots and French fries over fresh fruit, a! ny! day! of! the! week! Sometimes they complain. Sometimes they refuse to try something I’ve made. Sometimes I get tired of cooking and chuck my meal plan for the night and make boxed mac and cheese.

Not often, but it happens.

But, I know my hard work and diligence is paying off when my 12-year-old daughter chooses to stand by my side for hours, because she wants to learn how to prepare Thanksgiving dinner.

Or when my 5-year-old refuses a Tootsie Roll from her preschool teacher because she’d rather have one of Mom’s homemade treats later.(she's learned she can have no more than one treat per day).

Or, when, just last night, my 10-year-old son walks into the kitchen, closes his eyes, breathes in deeply and says, “Mom…I love when you cook dinner. You cook such good food.”

And especially when we drive past Mc Donald’s and I hear a kid in the back seat declare, “That’s not food—it’s poison.”

Yep. Makes it aallllllll worth it.

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P90X2 Update, Week 5 (30 Days down, 60 more to go!)

Total Weight Lost: 6.4 pounds since Jan 2, 13 pounds since highest weight (I gained 1.4 pounds this week).  My goal is sort of vague...but I'd be super happy with 5 more pounds lost.  And I'd be ecstatic with 8.  That's right, only 3 pounds stand between my happiness and my ecstasy.  


Total Inches Lost: 6, from waist, hips, butt, and thighs!  No wonder my jeans are all baggy!  I may be able to shop in my basement soon!


Total Fat Lost: 2.3% 


The beginning of the week found me fatigued. I forced myself through my first 3 workouts—workouts that felt more draining than they did energizing. I wanted to sleep a lot. So I took naps. Caffeine alone wasn't strong enough to get me over the mid-day hump.


All that tells me I’ve pushed my body hard enough for long enough, and it’s time for some rest and recovery.


One of the neat things about P90X2 is the flexibility built into the program. They expect that you know your body well enough to recognize when it’s time to take a break from the normal workout routine.


So, Wednesday and Thursday, I rested. And next week, I’m taking my first official “recovery week.” I don’t want to over-train. Because over-training is a recipe for injury and weight-loss plateaus. No thank you.  I'll tell you more about my recovery week next time, after I actually take it.


Speaking of recipes (smooth segue there), I have so many I want to share with you. But I’ve been very chatty lately on Fridays…maybe next week, we’ll do a little recipe post. Sound good?


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Linking up again this week with Jill Conyers--hop over there for more great posts on fitness, health and nutrition!

Also linking up with Sarah at Emerging Mummy for her blog carnival on the Practices of Parenting.