“By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.”
~Christopher Columbus
I’ve identified the one thing in my life that has the ability to single-handedly cause a nervous break-down and my subsequent admission to the psych ward:
Homework time with my 2nd-grader.
Three nights a week, Elijah has one short assignment and a checklist of things for review. The entire process should take about 15 minutes. Emphasis on should.
Elijah is smart as a whip, but has a terrible time staying focused. I’ve learned prior to homework time I must turn off the TV and the radio, send the girls onto an entirely different floor of the home where they can neither be seen nor heard, and remove every single item from the table. If I could also remove everything from the walls and tie his hands behind his back and his butt to the chair, I would, y’all. I seriously would.
Because if there is one single item…anything, a toy, a fork, a microscopic organism…Elijah will shift his focus from the homework onto it.
Heaven help us if we are in the middle of, say, a spelling sheet and he breaks a pencil. If I don’t have another one ready, sharpened and sitting near his hand, the pencil casualty will cost us at least ten minutes:
two to assess the extent of the damage,
two to slither from the table to the drawer like a snake,
two to retell the Star Wars episode that popped into his head thanks to the tiny Lego piece he found in the pencil drawer,
two to try to do the moon walk on his way back to his seat,
and two to remember we were doing spelling, not math.
Nightly, before I completely blow a gasket, I take his adorable little face in my hands and I say as gently as I possibly can, “Focus, buddy. You have to stay focused.”
Today in prayer, I realized I’m just like Elijah. Not the smart-as-a-whip part—just the lack-of-focus part. Well, and maybe the moonwalk part, too.
I will moonwalk into my prayer time with the best of intentions: get up early, start a pot of coffee, light a scented candle—you know, all the Biblical mandates for quality devotions.
Then I’ll decide while the coffee’s brewing to check e-mails… really quickly. (I’m pretty sure I just heard a collective *groan* from you all as you read that last sentence. You know what’s coming, don’t you.)
The e-mails start to download, and I see five people commented on my silly Facebook status from the night before. LOL!!!
I log onto Facebook to leave a really quick, yet witty reply, when I notice a friend has a new profile picture. OMG 2 CUTE!!
I click on her picture to tell her just how cute I think it is, when I see on her friend’s list a girl from Elementary school, whom I haven’t seen since…well, Elementary school. NO WAY!!!
I send my long-lost Elementary friend a friend request and a really quick personal message… and without realizing it, I’m completely sucked in. Wallowing in the sea of comments and profiles and photo albums and friend requests. Not a prayer in sight.
What happened? IDK!
Facebook isn’t the bad guy. I am. Because I have found, no matter when I purpose to accomplish something for God’s glory—whether it be praying or reading my Bible or writing or playing with my precious children, I am just so easily distracted. I’ll notice the crumbs on the floor (or as the case is currently, the entire bowl of macaroni and cheese under the table), and I just want to clean it up really quickly.
Or I’ll notice my bangs that keep falling out of the pony tail, so I just go to my bathroom to fix it really quickly.
Or I’ll remember the load of laundry I left in the washing machine and I’ll just run in to switch it really quickly.
But on my way to do all these things, I’ll get distracted with more things along the way—usually more e-mails, more laundry, more crumbs. Always with the crumbs!! Then before I know it, I’m tucking the kids into bed, fighting to keep my eyes opened—frustrated because another day has come and gone and I feel (again) like I did very little to nurture the relationship between my God and me.
I’ve gone through seasons where God has directed me to declutter and simplify my life—and I highly recommend that. Clutter in and of itself distracts. And clutter robs us of valuable time. If you are drowning in clutter, by all means, free yourself from that.
But today I feel like all the decluttering in the world won’t help my focus problem. Today in prayer, I felt God put His hands gently on my face and say, “Focus, Sandy. You have to stay focused.”
“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (II Corinthians 10:4-5)
If I really want to hear God speak into my life about where I am and where He’s leading me, then I must stay focused on Him. I must discipline my mind to engage in prayer for longer than five minutes before I mentally check out and start planning my grocery list. I must learn to look past the crumbs and stray bangs and finish what I sat down to do.
I must recognize distraction for what it is: not just a harmless bunny trail, but a weapon of the Enemy to hold me captive in a life of mediocrity and frustration. Ultimately, it’s a plan to steal my joy, kill my calling, and destroy my purpose.
Am I the only one who struggles with this? I would love to hear if distraction is a problem for you and what you do to help you stay focused.
10 comments:
You don't know me, but I feel like I know you because.....you are me and I am you! In fact on my blog, there are times we talk of the same thing. I am starting to sound like a strange stalker,(I am not I assure you) but each time I leave your blog sight I am thinking,"I WAS JUST ON THE SAME THING!!" I love your writings and I would buy your book. Your friend, (smile)Marlece
Oh honey, do I EVER struggle with this. We just need to hold each other accountable to NOT read those emails or click on Facebook or even open up our laptops until we've opened up the Word. I needed that reminder.
I LOVE that you said "ya'll!
Oh...guess I lost focus there...sooooo me! Good article!
LOL! I got so tickeled with the story of Elijah! It sounded so like my son and what we go through with the focus part. And then you brought it all home and bam! I had to think about my focus or lack of it. What a beautiful illustration! As always, thanks for sharing with all of us. It is greatly appreciated!
Blessings to you and your family!
Oh, me too! So here's what I have been doing to limit the distractions...
- I set my coffee pot timer, so that when I get downstairs at 5:30ish am the coffee is waiting for me.
- I remind myself that the computer is my reward for investing in my relationship with God, and just like I won't let my kids have dessert before dinner I can't allow myself to sit at the computer before my quiet time.
- If at all humanly possible, I try to end the evening by ensuring that no dishes need to be cleaned up or washed and that I have set aside a time in my mind when I will do laundry that day.
This takes care of most of the things that tempt me to turn my focus in the morning. Now, if I could only find a way to get those kids to stay in bed a half hour longer! LOL
Yowza! I love the last part about what distraction really does. I'm trying to learn to be more mindful and in the moment of whatever I'm doing, whether reading, playing with the kids, laundry, chores,etc., instead of rushing through until I move on to the next thing that I then rush through to get to the next thing. When our minds are filled with so many things it's hard not to be distracted and just like your son I have to literally say to myself "FOCUS!". Lately I've been trying to have scheduled computer time instead of "just checking" during the day - it seems to help. Thanks again for your encouragement - it makes my day!
I was laughing while reading this ... can TOTALLY relate. It's easy to get distracted by stuff. Sometimes it's easy to believe those distractions are worthwhile and for other, but it's really about ourselves. (BTW I've been enjoying being Facebook Free ... although for you it's a GREAT way to share your blog!)
This absolutely ministered to me today. Thank you for being humble enough to be honest :) You rock!
I could have written this post, only about 18 years ago. LOL. I had to practically sit on our son to get him to do his schoolwork all the way through high school. Groan. When he found his passion, his own motivation kicked to high gear and he got very focused. Thank God there's hope for all of us.
Yes, this is totally me (and my kids!). I think as women we have so much on our plates...and with those "spaghetti" minds that are always multitasking....it's very hard to stay focused on one thing at a time. We always have 4000 things going on in our brains every single moment. I know personally it would help me a lot if I could move from one compartment to the next - one box at a time - like the men who are like waffles! :)
I don't have any hints for staying focused, except the thing that you mentioned of saying "FOCUS!" to myself repeatedly. I say "ONE THING! DO ONE THING!" I'm constantly asking my daugher, "What should be your priority right now?"
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