21 Days to Clarity, Day 21: Intercede

For Day 20, Click Here

Yesterday started like most Sunday mornings: After pressing the snooze alarm five times, I successfully reasoned with my sleepy self that I did not have time to work out before church.

I stumbled into the bathroom and onto the scale, only to be assaulted with all “one hundred and something” reasons I set my alarm early to exercise in the first place.

For the next hour, I fumbled with my hair, my make-up and my clothes while alternating with repeated reminders to the kids to turn off the TV, eat breakfast and get ready for church.

In a rush of chaos, I ushered my resistant children into the frigid car, as I mentally rehearsed all the things I hate about living in Kentucky in February.

While Jon dropped off one child in the nursery, I took the others to find a seat, where (surprise) the service had already begun. Late again. After getting the children settled, I struggled mentally to recompose myself and focus on God. But instead, I allowed my mind to drift back to all the frustrations of that typical Sunday morning.

I opened my mouth and belted out a beautiful chorus:

“I’m coming back to the heart of worship,
and it’s all about ME.
All about ME.
Sandy.”


Not really.

But that’s where my heart was. Me, me, me. My tired body. My excess weight. My bad hair. My dislike for cold weather. My frustrations.


And then I spotted Carl and Marcie walking hand-in-hand to the front of the sanctuary. In a beautifully spontaneous act of humility and worship, they left their seats and knelt down together at the altar. And in a microsecond, I was jolted out of my prison of self-centeredness.

See, Carl has been battling brain cancer for two years. Marcie, his loving wife, stands tirelessly by his side through surgeries, chemo, good reports and bad. All the while, together they strive to maintain some sense of normalcy for their three children (one of whom is a classmate and friend to my daughter, Rebekah).

And there, she stood (or knelt) by him again—this time at the front of our church—in a vulnerable act of submission to The Healer.

I felt a sudden urge to join them—to stand behind them, to worship alongside them. To make a statement to them and to everyone present that Carl and Marcie are not alone. So, Jon and I left our seats, made our way down the aisle, and stood behind our dear friends to pray. Within seconds, I sensed others gathering around us, until our voices blended together with dozens of people, becoming strong, powerful and unified.

Hands raised. Tears flowing. We stepped outside ourselves and temporarily carried the heavy burden of this precious couple. For the next thirty minutes, with the music as our backdrop, we functioned, not as self-centered individuals, but as the family of God. The Body of Christ.

As I walked back to my seat, I had a new perspective. Nothing earth-shattering. My situation hadn't changed at all. It was still cold and cloudy outside, I still weighed the same, and I still had bad hair.

Yet, I heard God’s voice a little more clearly. A voice that summoned me for a short time to approach the throne of God and plead for healing. A voice that whispered,

“Marcie is weary. Pray for her strength.”

A voice that said,

“Watch how they worship me with pure hearts…isn’t it beautiful?”

A voice that resonated through our congregation,

“I hear you. I see you. I Am Here. ”

I don’t understand the whole paradox of losing your life to find it. But I thank God for allowing me to experience it on a very small level yesterday. When I lost my life in intercession for my friends, I found the clarity I had been seeking all morning.

Fitness Friday: Classic Rewind

For your reading enjoyment, I'm re-running an old post. Wish I could think of something witty to say here, but basically, it's noon on Friday and I still don't have enough creative juices flowing to pull together something fresh. So there. Enjoy.

(Circa January 2, 2009)

Popular New Year’s Resolutions

(according to USA.gov and About.com)

1. Lose weight
2. Manage debt
3. Save money
4. Get a better job
5. Get fit
6. Eat right
7. Spend more time with loved ones
8. Get a better education/learn something new
9. Drink less alcohol
10. Quit smoking
11. Reduce stress
12. Volunteer and help others
13. Get organized

Well, what do you know…lookie what shows up on the list a whopping THREE times!

That’s right, losing weight, getting fit and eating right.
And since chances are pretty good losing weight or getting in shape is also at the top of YOUR New Year’s Resolution list this year, it’s a perfect time for this installment of Fitness Friday.




Did you know in the last 30 years, there have been over 10, 000 diet plans published?

Did you also know that 90% of people who start a “diet” fail to achieve their goal?

In fact, about 50 million people begin a new diet each year, and 47.5 million of those people regain all or more of the weight they lost while dieting.

Why is that?

Because diets don’t work.

You’ve heard it a million times, but there is still something in you that hopes there will be some quick fix to your fitness woes, isn't there!

Dieting is about depriving your body of food. But God created you to NEED food, just like you need oxygen.

Food is not the enemy.

Food is essential.

It is a good thing.

Think of dieting like going underwater and holding your breath.* Eventually, you have to come up. And when you do, you gasp and inhale all you can. It’s the same way when you go without eating. No matter how strong your willpower is, eventually you will give in and eat…and probably binge and gain weight. Then you’ll feel like a failure, and you’ll think something is wrong with you—you must be weak, you must be bad. You must be the exception to every diet plan out there, because they never work for you.

I want this to be the year you succeed.

I know you can because millions of others have, by making small lifestyle changes. The key to fitness has nothing to do with starving and dieting. It has everything to do with

1.Feeding your body the right foods in the right amounts

2.And moving and strengthening your body.

So let’s all agree today that if we have fitness goals for the New Year,

it will NOT include “going on a diet.”

Deal? Deal!

If you have a significant amount of weight to lose (more than 10 pounds) and you don’t exercise, I would recommend you make some very small but very specific goals.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Drink at least 64 ounces of water a day.

2. Cut sodas out of your diet completely (even diet sodas). If you drink several a day, decide to replace one or two a day with water or green tea and go from there.

3.Replace fast food with fresh sandwiches, salads or soup

4.Eat breakfast.

5. Cut all hydrogenated oils out of your diet. Don’t know what contains hydrogenated oils? Read the ingredients. But note: companies are only required by law to list “trans fat” if it has more than .5 grams per serving. Therefore, even if it says “0 grams trans fat” on the nutrition per serving table, it may still contain trans fat.

6. Add a serving of fruit or vegetables to every meal and every snack.

7. Change from full fat dairy to low fat or fat free.

8.Go vegetarian one day a week.

9. Change from white bread, pasta and rice to whole grain.

10. Cut out second helpings, unless it’s veggies.

11. Add one day (30 minutes) of cardiovascular exercise to whatever you are currently doing.

12. If you already do cardio at least 3 days a week, add 1 or 2 days a week of weight training to your routine.

Depending where you are on the fitness/health spectrum, you may want to only choose one of these things and do it for a whole month before adding another. Or if you are ready to tackle a few of them, go for it. But whatever you do, make sure you do it for at least 30 days before you add anything else new. It takes about that long to form new habits.

And remember…this is about lifestyle changes, not dieting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Debbie at Heart Choices has written a very intimate and informative post about her experience with heart problems--both professional and personal. You don't want to miss this one.

21 Days To Clarity, Day 20: Focus

For Day 19, click here

“By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.”

~Christopher Columbus

I’ve identified the one thing in my life that has the ability to single-handedly cause a nervous break-down and my subsequent admission to the psych ward:


Homework time with my 2nd-grader.


Three nights a week, Elijah has one short assignment and a checklist of things for review. The entire process should take about 15 minutes. Emphasis on should.

Elijah is smart as a whip, but has a terrible time staying focused. I’ve learned prior to homework time I must turn off the TV and the radio, send the girls onto an entirely different floor of the home where they can neither be seen nor heard, and remove every single item from the table. If I could also remove everything from the walls and tie his hands behind his back and his butt to the chair, I would, y’all. I seriously would.

Because if there is one single item…anything, a toy, a fork, a microscopic organism…Elijah will shift his focus from the homework onto it.

Heaven help us if we are in the middle of, say, a spelling sheet and he breaks a pencil. If I don’t have another one ready, sharpened and sitting near his hand, the pencil casualty will cost us at least ten minutes:

two to assess the extent of the damage,

two to slither from the table to the drawer like a snake,

two to retell the Star Wars episode that popped into his head thanks to the tiny Lego piece he found in the pencil drawer,

two to try to do the moon walk on his way back to his seat,

and two to remember we were doing spelling, not math.

Nightly, before I completely blow a gasket, I take his adorable little face in my hands and I say as gently as I possibly can, “Focus, buddy. You have to stay focused.”

Today in prayer, I realized I’m just like Elijah. Not the smart-as-a-whip part—just the lack-of-focus part. Well, and maybe the moonwalk part, too.

I will moonwalk into my prayer time with the best of intentions: get up early, start a pot of coffee, light a scented candle—you know, all the Biblical mandates for quality devotions.

Then I’ll decide while the coffee’s brewing to check e-mails… really quickly. (I’m pretty sure I just heard a collective *groan* from you all as you read that last sentence. You know what’s coming, don’t you.)

The e-mails start to download, and I see five people commented on my silly Facebook status from the night before. LOL!!!

I log onto Facebook to leave a really quick, yet witty reply, when I notice a friend has a new profile picture. OMG 2 CUTE!!

I click on her picture to tell her just how cute I think it is, when I see on her friend’s list a girl from Elementary school, whom I haven’t seen since…well, Elementary school. NO WAY!!!

I send my long-lost Elementary friend a friend request and a really quick personal message… and without realizing it, I’m completely sucked in. Wallowing in the sea of comments and profiles and photo albums and friend requests. Not a prayer in sight.

What happened? IDK!

Facebook isn’t the bad guy. I am. Because I have found, no matter when I purpose to accomplish something for God’s glory—whether it be praying or reading my Bible or writing or playing with my precious children, I am just so easily distracted. I’ll notice the crumbs on the floor (or as the case is currently, the entire bowl of macaroni and cheese under the table), and I just want to clean it up really quickly.

Or I’ll notice my bangs that keep falling out of the pony tail, so I just go to my bathroom to fix it really quickly.

Or I’ll remember the load of laundry I left in the washing machine and I’ll just run in to switch it really quickly.

But on my way to do all these things, I’ll get distracted with more things along the way—usually more e-mails, more laundry, more crumbs. Always with the crumbs!! Then before I know it, I’m tucking the kids into bed, fighting to keep my eyes opened—frustrated because another day has come and gone and I feel (again) like I did very little to nurture the relationship between my God and me.

I’ve gone through seasons where God has directed me to declutter and simplify my life—and I highly recommend that. Clutter in and of itself distracts. And clutter robs us of valuable time. If you are drowning in clutter, by all means, free yourself from that.

But today I feel like all the decluttering in the world won’t help my focus problem. Today in prayer, I felt God put His hands gently on my face and say, “Focus, Sandy. You have to stay focused.”

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (II Corinthians 10:4-5)

If I really want to hear God speak into my life about where I am and where He’s leading me, then I must stay focused on Him. I must discipline my mind to engage in prayer for longer than five minutes before I mentally check out and start planning my grocery list. I must learn to look past the crumbs and stray bangs and finish what I sat down to do.

I must recognize distraction for what it is: not just a harmless bunny trail, but a weapon of the Enemy to hold me captive in a life of mediocrity and frustration. Ultimately, it’s a plan to steal my joy, kill my calling, and destroy my purpose.


Am I the only one who struggles with this? I would love to hear if distraction is a problem for you and what you do to help you stay focused.

For Day 21, Click Here

21 Days To Clarity, Day 19: Get in Over Your Head

For Day 18, Click Here

For nearly three years, I was the Preschool and Nursery Director at my church. I accepted the position when Rebekah was 2-years-old and Elijah was just a glimmer in our pile of adoption paperwork. During that time, I overhauled the department, quite literally. We moved into a new building that required an extensive build-out: transforming a doctor’s office complex to a nursery and preschool wing.

For months I pored over classroom supply catalogues and wall-paper samples. I made decisions about where to knock down walls and where to add sinks and cabinets. I spent hours and hours in nearly every craft and home improvement store in the greater Jacksonville, Florida area hunting for just the right accents to transform those cold, plain rooms into the warm and welcoming children’s department I envisioned.

Lest you think I have some background in interior design or construction, let me clarify things for you. I was clueless. I mean completely. Clueless. With a capital C. When I accepted the position to oversee the department, I knew how to transform the teacher training methods. I was all over the curriculum choices. I was ready to sanitize toys, and recruit workers and cast vision for hiding the Word in the hearts of the children. But oversee a build-out? You’re kidding, right? Don’t we have people for that?

Apparently we did. And it was ME.

I kicked and screamed and cried and complained. I did NOT want this responsibility. By this time, I had two babies at home and zero experience. That’s a recipe for one ugly children’s wing. But it was no use. I was it. I reluctantly moved forward with my assignment, knowing I was in way over my head.

One late night, I was in the church alone. I was tired. I was crabby. I was painting grass on the wall. On my hands and knees armed with three shades of green, I cried and complained with every angry brush-stroke.

“I can’t do this, God. I don’t paint. I don’t design things. I’m not creative. I have no idea what walls need to stay or go. What if I tell them to knock down the wrong wall and the whole building collapses? Why would you ask me to do something I clearly am not gifted or equipped to do? I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.”

And then through my tears and exhaustion, I sat back on my heals and looked at everything I had just painted. And I said something really profound,

“Hey! That looks like grass."

And in a micro-second, God clarified my purpose there. Getting me in over my head was all part of His plan. Leading me to a place where I felt ill-equipped and inexperienced forced me to lean on the only One who could help. Who better than the Creator of real grass to help me paint fake grass on a wall?

“My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.” (II Corinthians 12:9-10 The Message)

Looking back, those three years serving as Nursery and Preschool Director were probably the most spiritually rewarding years of my life, thus far. God stretched me, pulled me and pushed me far beyond my natural abilities. He drew me in closely and showed me some wonderful things He could create through me, once I stopped complaining long enough to trust Him. He purged some nasty attitudes and preconceived ideas I harbored deep within my heart—attitudes about myself and those around me.

He placed me under a pastor and his wife who saw something in me I did not see in myself. They entrusted me with huge responsibility not because I was an expert in building demolition, but because they knew I’d run to God for help.

While at the time my mantra was, “I don’t know what the heck I’m doing,” I look back over that season now and I think, “Wow! Look what God did through me!”


All of that pushing, pulling, stretching, purging and trusting paved the way for crystal clarity. It was during those three years I learned beyond a shadow of a doubt God speaks today, He speaks directly to me and I can hear Him when I listen.

For Day 20, Click Here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of being in over my head, I feel like I’m there again and could use your prayers. I’m going to another writer’s conference in less than three weeks where I will be presenting my book proposal for

Taken By Storm: Hearing God Speak in the Midst of Chaos

to three more publishers. Even as I type this, my stomach is in knots.

I know there are a lot bigger issues in the world than whether or not I completely bomb a publishing interview. But if some of my peeps could please lift me up in prayer as I prepare, I sure would appreciate it. And so would my knotty stomach.

Thank you.

Fitness Friday: Today When I Look in the Mirror

Today when I look at my face, instead of leaning into the magnified, lighted mirror analyzing each pore, each scar, each blemish, each stray eyebrow and each new wrinkle I will thank God I can see…

I will marvel at the multiple colors inside my eyes, and how they seem to transform depending on the day, the mood, and the colors around them. I will thank God I have senses that allow me to smell my coffee, my pumpkin pie-scented candle and the sweet aroma of my children’s skin. I will remember with joy instead of regret, each day of my youth spent in the sun without my SPF-15.

Today when I brush my teeth, instead of focusing on the two bottom teeth that still overlap, despite two years of braces and many more with a retainer, I will thank God I can eat…

I have the ability to chew, taste, swallow and properly metabolize food. I have unlimited access to food. While others in the world have no idea when their next meal will arrive, I live in abundance and excess.

Today when I step out of the shower and begin applying moisturizer to my legs, instead of focusing on the dry skin, increasing cellulite and decreasing muscle definition, I will thank God I can walk…

I can chase my spirited children in circles around the couch and carry them up to bed at night. I can dance with them in the kitchen and leap out of my seat to cheer at their sporting events.

Today when I get dressed, instead of focusing on the c-section scar across my abdomen, I will thank God for the miracle of birth…

The fact that I was able to assist God in creating two human beings, who grew from single-celled organisms to actual people inside my body simply blows my mind. I will praise God that I live in an era where doctors know how to get babies out of bellies by way of surgery, so they can live and not die.

Today when I examine my arms, instead of focusing on the fact that I still cannot do more than two pull-ups to save my life, I will thank God for my strength…

I can embrace my husband and tickle my children and sit at a computer and write and write and write. I can lift laundry baskets and bags of groceries and gallons of milk. I can brush tangles out of hair and adjust little neck ties with elastic bands. I can pull fitted sheets over mattresses (which is way harder than a pull-up) and tie double knots in little shoes.

Today when I swallow my daily anti-depressant, instead of focusing on the fact that I hate taking medication, I will thank God that I am not depressed...

I will celebrate the doctors who researched and developed medication to help people with depression. I will thank God for allowing me to live in a time where these medications are available and in a country where they are accessible. I will remember every doctor, therapist and friend who supported me in my sickness.

Today when I look in the mirror, instead of focusing on every flaw, defect, limitation and deficiency, I will thank God I’m alive. Instead of allowing myself to become overwhelmed with the day’s tasks and responsibilities, I will praise God for a new day. An opportunity to love my family and my friends. A day to color a picture with Elliana, have a pillow fight with Elijah and listen to Rebekah play a new song on her violin. A day to express to Jon how much I appreciate his commitment to me and the kids. A day to open up my home to a friend and connect over coffee.

Today I will remember my friend Lisa, whose life turned upside down a few days ago when she learned she has a rare and aggressive form of cancer.




Who over the next few days will not be folding laundry or tying double knots in little shoes, but will be sitting in cold doctors’ offices discussing treatment and prognosis. Who will be lying helpless and motionless at the hand of a surgeon as he removes this evil intruder called cancer. Who today, is not at all noticing her lack of muscle-tone or her sunspots. Who today, is living in perfect and total clarity about what is important and what is not.

Today when I look in the mirror, I will look past the imperfections and instead, see the miracle.

21 Days to Clarity, Day 18: Trust God to Take Care of You

For Day 17, click here

More questions...more answers...more clarity

Melanie asks: Have you ever had a time when you don't want to pray about something because you are scared of what the answer may be? How do you work through that?

Answer: Of course. I think everyone struggles with that. Realizing the Spirit of God sometimes leads us into the wilderness can tempt us to grope our way through life-- trying to find our own way. A more comfortable, less painful, less intrusive way than God would choose for us.

I’ve struggled with this over big things—like asking God whether or not we should adopt another child or whether we should relocate. And over little things—like asking God if I should have to humble myself and apologize when, clearly, I wasn’t wrong.

For me, this comes down to a trust issue: Do I really believe God is good and that His plans for me will prosper and not harm me? Once I’ve got that truth solidified in my heart, I can accept His answers, even if they appear scary and difficult.

There are a few ways to solidify the truth about God in your heart so you can build that trust in him:

1. Read the Bible. I’ve must have said this a thousand times on this blog. But the only way to build a life of faith is to have God’s word as the foundation. When we study the lives of other godly men and women and meditate upon His promises, we begin to trust His goodness toward us.

2. Allow time for your relationship with God to grow and mature. The longer I walk with God, the more I trust Him. Time and time again, He’s led me down difficult, painful paths. Paths I never, ever would have chosen on my own. But every single time, He’s proven Himself faithful to me in overt, tangible ways. When He does this, it gives me confidence in Him the next time when I’m asking for direction. I know if He took care of me before, He’ll take care of me again.


Melanie asks again: What do you do when you feel like you are getting a very clear answer and your husband is not on board with it? I am trying to curb my steamroller tendencies and let him be the head of our household, but what happens when you just really don't agree on an issue?

Answer: This is such a great question, and one with which I think every wife struggles. I’ve been married to my husband for over 16 years. In that time, we have had many, many (many!) disagreements. And I’ll be the first one to admit I have not always handled them the right way. Early in our marriage, we had terrible conflict resolution skills. I was the “steamroller” and he was the “let’s ignore this and hope it goes away-er.” That dynamic was purely toxic and nearly ended our marriage.

I’m so thankful God stepped in and helped us out. After leading me to a lot of good friends, good books and good scriptures, I learned there were many things I could change on my end that helped tremendously.

1. Try to talk it through. God placed you in your marriage to compliment your husband’s shortcomings, and vice versa. It’s OK to have a voice. The key is to approach him respectfully and at the right time, just as you would prefer he approach you. Only you know your husband well enough to discern how and when that is. But I’m guessing you have a pretty good feel for this. Remember that self-control, gentleness, patience and love are all signs of spiritual maturity.

2. Pray. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gone behind my husband’s back and prayed for God to change his heart about something. I do it all the time. (shhhhhhh, don't tell Jon!) God knows and loves your husband so much. Sometimes only He can be the one to change him.

3. Consider that perhaps your husband is right. Did I just say that out loud? Remember, God gave your husband to you to balance out your weaknesses. Together, you will make much better decisions than you will independently. What is the worst case scenario if you decided to go along with your husband’s decision on an issue? Maybe it’s not as bad as you think.

Finally, I do believe this is the most important thing, so don’t miss this: remember that no matter what, God’s got your back. He really does. There have been several times throughout our marriage where Jon and I had genuine disagreements about major, life-altering issues: where to live, where he should work, how we should spend a large amount of money, whether or not we should adopt more children. In the end, I always got to a place where no matter what happened, I knew I could trust God to take care of me (this takes time, so don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t there yet). I feel strongly that when we choose to honor God by honoring our husbands, God blesses us. Sometimes by granting us our heart’s desire. Sometimes by surprising us with something better. And sometimes simply by flooding our hearts with peace and contentment. It’s all good.

21 Days to Clarity, Day 17: Keep Doing What You're Doing

For Day 16, click here

Way back, long, long ago in a blog post far away, I wrote the introduction to this series. And in the comment section, a few of you asked questions regarding clarity in hearing God’s voice. Better late than never, today and tomorrow I’ll be answering those questions. By the way, if you ever have questions, just let me know. I’ll answer them promptly…give or take three months.

JeanH asked: Do you ever go through times when you're hearing God for everyone other than yourself and He's speaking to you through all kinds of random ways and about everything other than the one thing you really NEED to hear from Him about? Or is that just me

(I have always considered myself one of His 'short-bus' children :).

Answer: The more I read your question, the more I just giggle. Sometimes it just takes someone not-so-close to the situation to help you see from a different perspective.

Your question states that you are “hearing God for everyone” and that “He’s speaking to you through all kinds of random ways about everything.” This tells me many things about you. (Never mind that I happen to know you personally, have served side-by-side with you in ministry and have witnessed first-hand your sheer awesomeness and riveting beauty.) Your question alone reveals that you are highly sensitive to God’s voice. You, dear JeanH, hear Him all the time. You intercede for your friends and God gives you words of encouragement for them. I know you spend time in God’s word, because when God used you to speak to me, you spoke scripture. (Read about God using JeanH to talk to me Here). You must be asking (see Day 1), abiding (see Day 5) and obeying (see Days 14 and 15), because God pretty much talks to you about everything.

Since you are hearing Him so very clearly on a regular basis, I’m guessing your dilemma lies in one of the following possibilities:

1. The “one thing that you really NEED to hear Him about” isn’t really something you NEED at all. God is telling you that His grace is sufficient.

2. It is, in fact, something you need, but God will talk to you about it when He decides it’s best for you. God is telling you to trust His timing.

3. His answer already came but it isn’t something you want to hear, so you are looking for a different answer. God is waiting for you to accept His will.

4. God is answering you by taking you through a process (Day 6). He has more to tell you and a much bigger purpose than simply “the answer” to your prayer.

Maybe this isn’t what you want to hear, but keep doing what you are doing. It sounds to me like you are right on track.

For day 18, Click Here